No one taught us how to have a healthy relationship. We learned everything from
relationship that we observe in our parents, novels, movies,
our friends, the cultural context, religion, etc. From these experiences, the archetype of the couple's relationship is created, which is strengthened.
according to our context.
At a cultural and global level we are learning to relate in a way
very different.
The relational patterns that applied 20 or 30 years ago no longer apply to
from today. Below you will find 5 relational myths that will allow you to develop
new beliefs about relationships.
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MYTH: The couple fulfills the function of filling emotional, economic, professional voids, etc.
REALITY: The relationship is a dynamic of caring for the other,
support and accompaniment. Our partner is not the driver, cook,
therapist, accountant, coach, unconditional friend, etc. Many times
We think that our partner must fulfill all these functions and it is not true. If we have these kinds of expectations about our partner
We will be constantly frustrated when the other person does not comply
with them. On the other hand, the relationship becomes a relationship
contractual and all the eroticism, excitement and joy goes out the window. In
In short, your sex life will be seriously affected.
- MYTH: We should tell each other everything. My partner should know everything that happens to me and what I am feeling.
REALITY: There is a collective belief that dictates “If my partner loves me
He must know everything about me.” First, it is impossible for our partner to know
everything about us and be the person who has the answers to
all our problems. In fact, telling our partner everything and
Expecting them to be the ones to resolve our conflicts creates a
symbiotic relationship of getting something from the other instead of giving and receiving. By
On the other hand, be an “open book” and allow our partner to know
Absolutely everything about us decreases excitement, curiosity and
eroticism. In short, your sex life will take a serious turn.
affected.
- MYTH: The absence of conflict in a relationship is
synonymous with a healthy and stable relationship.
REALITY: Relationships always have conflicts, to a greater or lesser degree. Healthy relationships are characterized by the couple's ability to resolve conflicts and empathy. The absence of conflict in a relationship can mean that the couple no longer communicates for fear of not understanding each other, because they no longer value the relationship with the other, because they are settling for “being together,” for fear of facing problems. relationship conflicts, or a permanent breakup, or because they do not trust their partner. The absence of conflict is a very clear symptom
that there is a serious problem in the relationship.
- MYTH: When I enter a relationship I hope to be happy and that
Everything works perfectly because we love each other.
REALITY: Love is an incredible feeling of connection, affection,
affection, care and attraction. It allows us to get closer to our partner and
facilitates meetings and motivation to be together. However, this
physical, hormonal and emotional feeling is not enough to sustain
a healthy couple relationship. There are many factors that make a relationship long-lasting and successful. There are economic, professional, purpose, values, life projects, religious, communication factors, the capacity for empathy and conflict resolution to just name a few. The spark of love and attraction is very important, but it is not the only reason to stay in a relationship. The feeling of love does not solve all the problems or conflicts that may arise in a relationship. Furthermore, it is possible to feel love or fall in love with more than one person, so love is not a symbol of being predestined to be with a single person for the rest of your life.
- MYTH: My partner is not going to change the way he or she thinks or acts throughout the relationship. REALITY:
People change all the time according to their experiences, contexts and personality. Your partner will be constantly changing and evolving just like you. The person you met at the beginning of the relationship probably won't be the same after 5 or 6 years, and so on. You will marry different versions of that person several times over the years, and you will constantly renew your relationship agreements as they change. So don't be surprised when you think “he was so different when we met! Accept the person in front of you with all their flaws and qualities and resolve conflicts in the present without clinging to the past.