Emotional bonds are created from the first moment we enter the world. Our parents receive us with love and affection, taking care of all our basic needs to guarantee our survival. From this moment until the age of 7 we develop beliefs that are stored in the subconscious about how to give and receive affection. These beliefs determine our emotions and the decisions we make as adults in our emotional relationships.
However, according to our childhood experiences, patterns of behavior and negative beliefs develop that are not healthy, creating conflicts and anxieties in our current emotional relationships. Therefore, you must correct patterns and beliefs that you learned in your childhood through paternal and maternal reeducation *. This means not looking for other people to fill an emotional void but doing the work yourself through psychotherapy, self-knowledge, personal development and changing behavior patterns and habits.
If you feel a great need to be heard, valued and loved, it is very likely that there was a lack in your childhood in these aspects. As adults we must learn to give ourselves all these things without expecting our partner to fill this emotional void.
Remember that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Relationships are nourished through the construction of a joint life project, conflict resolution and quality communication, and not through filling an emotional void. It is likely that a relationship will end, and if we are emotionally dependent on it, and we do not have these emotional and relational conflicts resolved, we will feel frustrated, overwhelmed and abandoned.
Strengthening your knowledge about these psychological and relational aspects will allow you to feel freedom to enjoy a healthy relationship without emotional attachments. You will learn how to deactivate emotional triggers to set clear and healthy boundaries in your relationships without entering mental or emotional turmoil. You will be able to increase your self-esteem and self-worth by allowing you to choose the most suitable partner for you.
*Paternal and maternal reeducation is the act of giving yourself what you did not receive in your childhood.